Bum Wine
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    i have a 3 gallon better bottle that's been sitting completely empty for a long time now and i'd like to make some cheapo bum wine in it.

    what should i use? it's going to have to be store bought juice, as i don't have a press or grapes or any other fruit for that matter.

    i was thinkin maybe get some grape juice and mix in a little cherry juice, or pom, blueberry, ect?

    whacha think? if it sucks i can always use it for cooking, works great in my water smoker.

    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    or would a white wine be easier/tastier from store juice? maybe add some pears to the white grape juice cans. sounds ok, but will it work?
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    i'm prepared to store this hooch for a long while to make the flavor less prison-y than i expect it to taste when it's fermented out.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    Don't forget, needs to be cheap!
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • frydogbrewsfrydogbrews
    Posts: 44,679
    just grab the cheapest juice you want, pitch 71-B or K1V yeast, have ec-1118 on hand in case of a stall or if it just doesn't drop it as low as you want, then let 'er rip.
  • frydogbrewsfrydogbrews
    Posts: 44,679
    it won't be prison-y at all, that flavor comes from crappy yeast
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    cool. so which one should be ready quicker, a red or a white?
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • frydogbrewsfrydogbrews
    Posts: 44,679
    generally a white if you're talking grape juice.
    aerate gently on 2 and 5th days of ferment and keep the ferm temp low, like 60, for fastest drinkability and flavor.
  • JayrizzleJayrizzle
    Posts: 90,149
    Frozen concentrate juice is the way to go if cheap is the name of the game. Apple and sugar make a drink worth getting drunk on. Grape is good too. If you like dry (and lazy) just start with the ec-1118, just make sure it's cool and has enough nutrients, i've gotten some nasty crap from that yeast (ethyl-acetate) .

    If you're going for more of a Night Train make it with (by sugar content) 60% grape/40% white sugar. Add sulfates then freeze concentrate and back sweeten with more grape juice concentrate (to taste).
    "I don't have TP, but I do have ammo."
    -Some guy in Ohio
  • JayrizzleJayrizzle
    Posts: 90,149
    I made some crap wine with apple juice concentrate and sugar. It didn't turn out so good, so I though I'd concentrate it and back sweeten. It's still the the freezer.... I should do something with that, it's taking up a lot of space.
    "I don't have TP, but I do have ammo."
    -Some guy in Ohio
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669


    If you're going for more of a Night Train make it with (by sugar content) 60% grape/40% white sugar. Add sulfates then freeze concentrate and back sweeten with more grape juice concentrate (to taste).



    no. just, no.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • frydogbrewsfrydogbrews
    Posts: 44,679


    If you're going for more of a Night Train make it with (by sugar content) 60% grape/40% white sugar. Add sulfates then freeze concentrate and back sweeten with more grape juice concentrate (to taste).



    no. just, no.


    yeah, why even bother. just buy the cheap 4 dollar a bottle vodka and dump in some grape juice. cheaper overall and kill you just as fast!
  • ceanntceannt
    Posts: 53,828
    This thread gives me a roaring headache just reading it
    Never attribute to malice, that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    ceannt said:

    This thread gives me a roaring headache just reading it



    so you're saying you want a bottle? ;)
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • JayrizzleJayrizzle
    Posts: 90,149


    If you're going for more of a Night Train make it with (by sugar content) 60% grape/40% white sugar. Add sulfates then freeze concentrate and back sweeten with more grape juice concentrate (to taste).



    no. just, no.


    You said bum wine, if I knew how to make Thunderbird I'd let you know, but I just can't figure out how something clear can turn the inside of your mouth black.
    "I don't have TP, but I do have ammo."
    -Some guy in Ohio
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669


    If you're going for more of a Night Train make it with (by sugar content) 60% grape/40% white sugar. Add sulfates then freeze concentrate and back sweeten with more grape juice concentrate (to taste).



    no. just, no.


    You said bum wine, if I knew how to make Thunderbird I'd let you know, but I just can't figure out how something clear can turn the inside of your mouth black.


    heroin.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • JayrizzleJayrizzle
    Posts: 90,149


    If you're going for more of a Night Train make it with (by sugar content) 60% grape/40% white sugar. Add sulfates then freeze concentrate and back sweeten with more grape juice concentrate (to taste).



    no. just, no.


    You said bum wine, if I knew how to make Thunderbird I'd let you know, but I just can't figure out how something clear can turn the inside of your mouth black.


    heroin.


    No, that's expensive, it must be something like lighter fluid, or antifreeze.
    "I don't have TP, but I do have ammo."
    -Some guy in Ohio
  • frydogbrewsfrydogbrews
    Posts: 44,679


    If you're going for more of a Night Train make it with (by sugar content) 60% grape/40% white sugar. Add sulfates then freeze concentrate and back sweeten with more grape juice concentrate (to taste).



    no. just, no.


    You said bum wine, if I knew how to make Thunderbird I'd let you know, but I just can't figure out how something clear can turn the inside of your mouth black.


    heroin.


    No, that's expensive, it must be something like lighter fluid, or antifreeze.


    maybe expensive around you....
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    so i finally got my yeast for this. going to put it all together this week or weekend.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • JayrizzleJayrizzle
    Posts: 90,149

    so i finally got my yeast for this. going to put it all together this week or weekend.



    Turbo yeast?
    "I don't have TP, but I do have ammo."
    -Some guy in Ohio
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    nope.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • JayrizzleJayrizzle
    Posts: 90,149

    nope.



    well that's good.
    "I don't have TP, but I do have ammo."
    -Some guy in Ohio
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    bum wine has been racked to secondaries. now to wait a bit....
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • bum wine has been racked to secondaries. now to wait a bit....



    I'm interested to see how this turns out
  • morsmors
    Posts: 231
    This sounds terrible... Though I will admit I did make a batch of 'mead' using nothing but table sugar to create about 9% dry booze (with nutrient additions like I was making a mead.) I then back sweetened the stuff with some orange blossom honey. This created an excellent tasting 'mead'.... lol.

    It all came about because I was reading alot of things from people that encouraged making mead with really cheap honey and then just back sweetening with good honey. So I logically deduced that table sugar should work too... it did...
    BJCP A0936 National Beer Judge and Mead Judge
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    HBT "mors"
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    mors said:

    This sounds terrible... Though I will admit I did make a batch of 'mead' using nothing but table sugar to create about 9% dry booze (with nutrient additions like I was making a mead.) I then back sweetened the stuff with some orange blossom honey. This created an excellent tasting 'mead'.... lol.

    It all came about because I was reading alot of things from people that encouraged making mead with really cheap honey and then just back sweetening with good honey. So I logically deduced that table sugar should work too... it did...



    yay for hooch! i tasted both the red and white when i racked them. meh.

    neither is great, nor are they bad. i'm pretty sure they could benefit from some acid addition and some oak for the red, but i'm not going to do anything until they've sat around for a while longer.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • 60minuteSamC60minuteSamC
    Posts: 6
    you could mix that with some crappy beer and then bottle it and sell it for tons of money if you find a bunch of dummies willing to worship whatever crap you put out.

    frydogbrews
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669

    you could mix that with some crappy beer and then bottle it and sell it for tons of money if you find a bunch of dummies willing to worship whatever crap you put out.



    don't forget the honey! then you can charge $12 for a four pack.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669

    mors said:

    This sounds terrible... Though I will admit I did make a batch of 'mead' using nothing but table sugar to create about 9% dry booze (with nutrient additions like I was making a mead.) I then back sweetened the stuff with some orange blossom honey. This created an excellent tasting 'mead'.... lol.

    It all came about because I was reading alot of things from people that encouraged making mead with really cheap honey and then just back sweetening with good honey. So I logically deduced that table sugar should work too... it did...



    yay for hooch! i tasted both the red and white when i racked them. meh.

    neither is great, nor are they bad. i'm pretty sure they could benefit from some acid addition and some oak for the red, but i'm not going to do anything until they've sat around for a while longer.


    i didn't do any of that. mostly because of laziness, but partly because of more laziness.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669

    ceannt said:

    So fz .... whats going on with the bum wine?



    bottled it up on saturday.


    went with sparkling on the white



    so i'll test em out in a few weeks.



    if they're crappy, i've got three gallons of cooking red, and three gallons of fizzy stuff for mixing drinks.



    so either way, i'm calling it worth it.


    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • frydogbrewsfrydogbrews
    Posts: 44,679
    never cook with a wine you don't enjoy drinking!
  • frydogbrewsfrydogbrews
    Posts: 44,679
    put bad stuff on ice and mix it 50/50 with sprite, good 'nuff
  • BenvarineBenvarine
    Posts: 1,606

    never cook with a wine you don't enjoy drinking!



    Goes for beer too. I had a terrible Brett beer, added it to some sausage I was cooking, big mistake. Ruined the sausage too. It's hard to ruin good pork sausage, but I found a way.
  • C_BC_B
    Posts: 88,546

    put bad stuff on ice and mix it 50/50 with sprite, good 'nuff


    Interesting.
    "On it. I hate software." ~Cpt Snarklepants
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    Benvarine said:

    never cook with a wine you don't enjoy drinking!



    Goes for beer too. I had a terrible Brett beer, added it to some sausage I was cooking, big mistake. Ruined the sausage too. It's hard to ruin good pork sausage, but I found a way.


    i did that with a skunked beer. it was gross.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669

    never cook with a wine you don't enjoy drinking!



    don't tell me what to do!
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669

    put bad stuff on ice and mix it 50/50 with sprite, good 'nuff



    i don't drink sprite, but i plan to mix em with juice or whatever if i don't like it. maybe i'll mix up a few cocktails and carbonate them in a soda bottle or something.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • JayrizzleJayrizzle
    Posts: 90,149

    put bad stuff on ice and mix it 50/50 with sprite, good 'nuff


    I did that with skunked beer. It was better...
    "I don't have TP, but I do have ammo."
    -Some guy in Ohio
  • JayrizzleJayrizzle
    Posts: 90,149
    Did anything happen with the bum wine project?
    "I don't have TP, but I do have ammo."
    -Some guy in Ohio
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669

    Did anything happen with the bum wine project?



    it's all bottled up now. i cooked with one of the sparkling white bottles.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    from the room temp sip i took before dumping the bottle into the pot, it wasn't half bad. i might just chill some this weekend and do a real taste test.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    so i tried the sparkling white bum wine. not too shabby!

    it tastes like white wine. a little fruity, a littly winey. nice bubbles. i'm calling it a win.

    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    i'll get to the red sooner or later.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    tried the red last night. #-o

    very watery and thin tasting.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    oh, well. now i have plenty of cooking wine, which was what i would have used most of it for anyway.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • frydogbrewsfrydogbrews
    Posts: 44,679

    tried the red last night. #-o

    very watery and thin tasting.



    needs acid. sprinkle some acid blend into the next sample. just a pinch and dissolve it. then see where its at.
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669

    tried the red last night. #-o

    very watery and thin tasting.



    needs acid. sprinkle some acid blend into the next sample. just a pinch and dissolve it. then see where its at.


    probably. but that's not going to happen. it's already bottled.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake
  • FuzzyFuzzy
    Posts: 49,669
    it's cooking wine now.
    The pinnacle of lame and awesome in one singular moment. -Lake